It is two am and I can't sleep without talking to you. I had some trouble with this new med I am taking-didn't follow the directions about when to take it and how much, and Iguess I ended having some psychotic, profanity laced outburst in front of the neighbors and Mercedes. However, I can't remember it (mercifully).
I feel really bad, not just about what happened but about what is happening to me. Adrienne told me I am feeling sorry for myself and, while I agree there is a bit of that, I am also trying to figure something out-what it is, I don't have a clue.
Anyway, it just sucks to be me right now. There, I am going on record for feeling sorry for myself. If anyone thinks I am happy about that, then they don't know me.
I am terrified. I am really out of control and have been for a while.
I can't stop thinking about suicide. I am not going to kill myself, I just feel so out of my depth.
Anyway, maybe I can go to sleep now.
(I feel better after having talked to you this morning.)
No comments:
Post a Comment