I gulp the thick liquid . It surprises me howdesperate I am. It is not a real t hirst . Instead I drink the brandy and Benedictine , herbal taste masking the bite of the cheap brandy to slake my need for oblivion or at least unconsciousness .
My desperation is so prevalent that at midnight I chewed up 2 perch, an hour before , a handful, counted, melatonin .
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